Utopia will make you a tyrant
March 13, 2019
The simple task of creating paradise on Earth will see you walking in the footsteps of Pol Pot. I know, I’ve been there.
Category: Observation
A place to try ideas, doodle, meander, entertain.
December 29, 2018
Every so often I write a blog post about having nothing to say. It looks like that time of year again. But it feels different this time. Rightly or wrongly I perceive blogging as an activity that is being buried by shorter forms of social media and I don’t have the drive to blog anymore.
We, the sponsors
July 19, 2018
Someone raised a point on a singer’s fan club forum recently. (I won’t tell you the singer’s name because I’ve banged on about her long enough now.) Why aren’t fans allowed to meet their music heroes backstage?
Dusseldorf part 2
July 8, 2018
So it all boils down to tonight. I’ll probably write part 2 on Sunday and you’ll either hear about my Damascene conversion and splurging on tickets for December’s show, or all my future holidays being confined exclusively to the north west of England. (Chris Harrison, July 6th 2018)
Helene Fischer live in Dusseldorf
July 8, 2018
Click on the first image to open the slideshow. The pictures look better there…
A Dusseldorf taster
July 7, 2018
More to come. I’ll write ‘Part 2’ tomorrow. (I’m in Dusseldorf airport at the moment.) Thanks for your comments of support, I’ll respond in full when I get home later today. Here she is…
A Tirade Against EE
June 30, 2018
They always say don’t blog when you’re angry. Well, here goes. Hope you enjoy it because anger is also a rich source of humour.
Dorothea Flock and the Bamberg Witch Trials
April 14, 2018
Originally posted on TotenUniverse:
Imagine being alone, sentenced to death. Now you’re waiting in a cell, possibly underground, before they take you to a place where you’ll be beheaded and then burned. But there’s a reprieve on the way written by the Duke of Furstenberg himself. The first one he wrote was ignored, so he’s…
Walpurgisnacht
April 10, 2018
Originally posted on TotenUniverse:
I won’t be calling it Walpurgisnacht next year. In its modern incarnation its origins are Christian. Like Halloween, there’s a lot of devilry, but look closely and you’ll spot the witches on top of the bonfires, not dancing around them. (banner photo Heidelberger Thingstätte by AndreasF) Statue of St Walburga in…
Walpurgisnacht Competition
April 10, 2018
Originally posted on TotenUniverse:
April 30th was a significant date in the calendar for northern European witches, mainly in Germany and Holland. On Walpurgisnacht witches would be drawn to the summit of the Brocken, the highest peak in the Harz mountains. And Walpurgisnacht seems to be the right moment to make changes to the TotenUniverse.…
Is this the end?
March 4, 2018
That sounds a bit apocalyptic, but I’m referring to the book sales. I have a plan that involves withdrawing all the ebooks from sales channels, offering them for free from the website and making money from other product lines. Does this sound like a plan?
Who Pays for the Spaceship?
December 17, 2017
Not just spaceships, but most complex things in the cosmos. Where does the money come from? (Have I written about this before?)
This is not an advert for smartphones
November 18, 2017
I used to be snobbish about smartphone cameras, but not any more. The days of hauling 4kg of metal up a mountain are over.
Compulsive Writing
October 28, 2017
I once abandoned a novel after running out of steam. It was 2002 or thereabouts and I never thought I’d write another one. Now, if I don’t write something every day I shake like a man totally wired on espresso.
Couldn’t resist this!
August 12, 2017
Sorry there’s no big fancy title image or any of that flashy stuff, but in researching a blog post about WikiHow I came across this bit of advice: How do I make money in the crop growing or animal farming business? WikiHow answer: Grow fast growing plants or raise animals that produce a lot of … More Couldn’t resist this!
There Will Be Blood released
March 21, 2017
Today should have been a happy day. A day of joy and celebration. So what’s stopping me from doing a jig?
Fred Dibnah
January 28, 2017
There are men who can run as fast as gazelles and women who can dive to great depths holding their breath for up to twenty minutes. But one man from Bolton could defy gravity. Fred Dibnah.
Christmas message
December 25, 2016
Happy Christmas and all that.
A Familiar Formatting Problem
November 27, 2016
Originally posted on TotenUniverse:
Most self-published authors will have encountered Smashwords’ notorious ‘meatgrinder,’ and few of them survive unscathed. They know what I’m talking about, but for those of you who haven’t come across this Gilliamesque monster, it’s the automated system Smashwords uses to convert uploaded files into various ebook formats. And it doesn’t work.…
All in One, All at Once
November 9, 2016
Originally posted on Audrey Driscoll's Blog:
So many books… You know how it is — you read an ebook, think it’s pretty good, wonder if there’s a sequel. In a day or two, other books and life in general overlay the memory. Weeks later, something reminds you of that book. Now, what was the…
Pencils, Rubbers et al
October 22, 2016
Why does a rubber rub out pencil? People are so nasty and horrible these days that if you ask a perfectly reasonable question they’ll say, ‘why don’t you google it, asshole.’ (It is possible to make these people look stupid by asking a rhetorical question…) Back in the day, when I were a lad, I … More Pencils, Rubbers et al
Why The Private Sector Is Better
September 17, 2016
Ha! Fooled you. Clickbait, you see. It’s what the private sector is good at: discovering ever more devious ways of diverting you away from what you want to what it wants. But I’m not here to bore you with pinko-commie anti-capitalist ranting. I want to examine more closely the often-heard assertion that the private sector … More Why The Private Sector Is Better
Spontaneous Human Combustion
September 10, 2016
I love the supernatural, I love the unexplained, the paranormal, a good mystery. In the early 1980s, the perfect magazine was published. Called The Unexplained, it was all about the unexplained. It nearly scared me to death. Literally. The adverts started to appear on telly and I was soon hounding my parents to buy it. … More Spontaneous Human Combustion
Why Does Everything Cost 99p
September 3, 2016
The world does not need a five pound coin. It doesn’t need a commemorative silver guinea or a special three pound coin with the queen’s head on it. What the world needs is a 99p coin. (If you’re reading this blog in some other economic zone substitute pounds and pence with your own currency.)
Emergency! The Head Office Has Vanished
August 31, 2016
In a remarkable act of corporate conjuring, Apple has succeeded in making its head office disappear. This raises serious issues for CEO Tim Cook: has his chair disappeared too? Has Tim Cook disappeared? Probably not because Apple have kicked up a fuss following the EU’s demands to pay back corporation tax owing to the Irish … More Emergency! The Head Office Has Vanished
I Read The Guardian, But I Don’t Know Why
August 28, 2016
A few weeks ago I came across a free copy of the Daily Star. For those higher mortals who don’t live in Britain, the Daily Star is a tabloid newspaper. Noted for its bums-and-boobs approach to journalism, the Daily Star makes the Sun look like the Encyclopedia Britannica. It’s a throwback to an age when … More I Read The Guardian, But I Don’t Know Why
Latest Spam no.4
June 17, 2016
There’s been quite a lot of spam recently in response to The Agent’s Cipher blog post, but that is now closed to comments, so those adverts for American football shirts will be coming your way soon. Today, I received a very nice comment from a man called Xoy Chaopi, who might be Aztec, I’m not … More Latest Spam no.4
Match of the Day v Kick Off
June 15, 2016
If you don’t like football, switch off now. This is a 100% footie post, with a difference. It’s not about football itself, but a television phenomenon that may outlast the pyramids. Saturday nights in the 1970s had a certain pattern to it: The Generation Game, Starskie and Hutch, and the evening finished off in the … More Match of the Day v Kick Off
The Museum of Childhood Toys and Games
June 8, 2016
In 2015 I took a walk around the estuary of the River Kent and nearly walked my feet off. Half way along the route, passing a farm with a load of fairground rides in storage, an idea came to me: a museum containing all the toys and games of my childhood. A search of Ebay … More The Museum of Childhood Toys and Games
Latest Spam no.3
May 31, 2016
Once again I am being visited by kindly souls pleased to have the opportunity to interact with greatness such as I. But there are times when I wonder about their motivations and grow a little suspicious, so forgive me if I come across a bit grumpy this time around.
The Opening Sentence 