Some of you may not know this, but March 21st 2017 is a very important date. Advertisements
I’m going to sound like an egomaniac by explaining another bout of absence, not just here but in other places on the web. I always think it sounds a bit weird when an unknown blogger apologises for not blogging, as if the internet has been holding its breath, but I can see where these people … More On the road.
I’d love to say something like ‘ten years in the making…’ (and say it in a very deep voice) but it’s not taking that long.
Not a cover reveal. . . . Release date is looking like 2017 now.
What’s in a name? Where do characters come from? Sometimes, the questions authors are asked are difficult to answer: ‘where did you get the idea from?’ is the perennial lump hammer of a question; virtually unanswerable. But occasionally a question can be answered, and today I’ll tell you how I created Belarussian rock band There … More There Will Be Blood
Here’s a world exclusive for you. You have no idea how lucky you are to witness this, but I’m going to share with you an image from the latest Toten Herzen photoshoot. And if you’re wondering, yes it is watermarked, so don’t go nicking it for your own blogs, bedroom posters etc.
Looking back on 2015 I think the one word that best sums up my writing career would be underwhelming. Sales figures could be counted on the fingers of one hand, and not necessarily a healthy hand at that. But part of this could be down the fact that I did virtually no promotion. Well, what … More 2016 Forecast and the Art of Aiming High
You may remember I said something about a newsletter, collecting emails and all that dodgy sounding nonsense. Well, who wants a poxy newsletter, all black and white with Arial font and wingdings and clip art, when you can have a f*** off full colour magazine. Yes, magazine. Content for the first issue is pretty much … More Coming Soon. (No, honestly, it is…)
In a few weeks time I’ll be self-publishing another entry in the TotenUniverse. The One Rule of Magic is the first book in what I call the Reflections strand of novels following the new life of Bamberg witch Frieda Schoenhofer. Frieda was first encountered in Who Among Us… (still doing the rounds with literary agents) … More Blurb request – The One Rule of Magic
Never rename a boat. I recently saw one for sale and it was named the John Thomas. Now, I don’t know where you live, but in Britain John Thomas is an alternative name for a gentleman’s wedding tackle. No one in their right mind would own a boat and keep the name John Thomas. In … More Agnetha Fältskog
Strictly speaking, one of them wasn’t a vampire and one of them is my own creation, but myths have to start somewhere. Contrary to what people will tell you vampires are not yesterday’s news, they’re still the top of the foodchain when it comes to folklore. Here are my top five bloodsuckers and bloodthirsty individuals. … More Vampires and The Bloodthirsty
No one knows the true barycentre of the TotenUniverse. The band are only part of a wider growing European conspiracy. You can now explore further details of this conspiracy and Alien Noise Corporation’s future plans and releases. Click the image to see the TotenUniverse in detail. As universes go the image is quite large, and … More The TotenUniverse
Men cannot multitask. Or so we’re told, but I have a simple method that allows me to multitask: I do one thing at a time. I call this serial multitasking, as opposed to parallel multitasking, which is what women do. (Allegedly.) But even I am starting to come unstuck. Serial multitasking has one fundamental flaw: … More Plate Spinning
In the third Toten Herzen story Raven has lost her mate, Rob Wallet, and suffered a second setback when Susan Bekker does the dirty on her promise to turn Raven into a vampire. After a brief meeting with an Interpol investigator Raven lets off steam in a phone call to a friend back in Britain. … More There Will Be Blood – Extracts: Raven’s Dilemma
A 1st draft abridged extract from the third Toten Herzen novel There Will Be Blood v.2 (The novel will be published at the end of Toten Herzen’s Malandanti world tour, some time in 2016.) The band take a fateful decision… For as long as Wallet had been with the band, he thought he had an … More There Will Be Blood – Extracts: Bad News for Rob Wallet
A 1st draft abridged extract from the third Toten Herzen novel There Will Be Blood v.2 (The novel will be published at the end of Toten Herzen’s Malandanti world tour, some time in 2016.) Every time the main lights strafed the crowd Dee found a single member of the audience to focus on. In … More TOUR NEWS: TOTEN HERZEN – BRAZIL
It’s summer, the female solo artists are coming into bud and causing the usual huffing and puffing as they struggle to maintain their relevence. I thought it an appropriate time to unleash an extract from Toten Herzen Malandanti featuring their litigious US nemesis Rose Pursey. In Malandanti, Pursey is suing Dee Vancent for libel and … More Toten Herzen Malandanti Extract – Rose Pursey
With only days to go Toten Herzen’s number one fangirl Raven (real name [REDACTED]) gives you a guide to the British general election. I hate my life. And a lot of it is because of politicians meddling and scheming and turning everything upside down. But give them credit, every five years they let us decide … More Raven Rants – guide to the British general election
Official statement from Alien Noise Corporation. Rotterdam, March 9th Toten Herzen will not be performing at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest to be held in Austria. Reports that the band would be representing Azerbaijan are incorrect and malicious. Susan Bekker, speaking from Sao Paulo where the band are on world tour, described the rumours as … More Toten Herzen at Eurovision?
Some say marketing is how you sell books. Some swear by social media, others believe book signings are the way forward. Others take a more . . . unorthodox approach and get themselves arrested. What all these people have in common is that they never back up their bright ideas with real results. We’re never … More When Marketing Goes Wrong
I am a liar. Always have been. There was a time when I was quite adept at conjuring up a whopper, but over the years I’ve learned to channel my lies into more productive outlets. But let’s face it we’ve all gone through the Three Phases of Lying. Phase One – childhood. We fib. Our … More The Three Phases of Lying
The final book of the Totenseries and all answers provided to explain Rob Wallet’s Toten phenomenon. Finally, the answers to the mystery, for many the greatest hoax of the 21st century, revealed. Rob Wallet’s identity; Susan Bekker’s Big Lie; what really happened to Peter Miles; the fate of Raven; the significance of Elaine Daley’s tattoo … More The Book Of Revelation
Events take a dark twist in the fourth book of the Totenseries. Builders break through the wall of a basement in a London house and discover the remains of four people: three women and a man. The link to Toten Herzen emerges when the house turns out to have belonged to the owner of the … More Behind The Wall
The second book of the Totenseries, following on from the turmoil of We Are Toten Herzen. Witchcraft, litigation, madness and a lesson in how not to record a new studio album. … More Toten Herzen Malandanti
The first book of the Totenseries and where the whole unbelievable saga kicks off. Learn more about the story, why it might change your life, and where to buy the novel. … More We Are Toten Herzen
Elsewhere, in my feature on Nemesea, I recalled how close I came to losing two of my hands. The threat, the near miss came from Delain’s album, April Rain. Was it better than Nemesea’s The Quiet Resistance? My hands survived thanks to the release dates and a technicality. For the kind of metalheads who like … More MetalMonth – Delain
In 1977 four members of the rock band Toten Herzen were murdered in London by Lenny Harper. Harper was only charged with wasting police time and the bodies disappeared. The killing of Toten Herzen is now one of the forgotten events of the decade, which is why in 2012 UK music journalist Rob Wallet decided … More MetalMonth – Toten Herzen, fact or fiction? Pt. 2
Ronaldo Padavona does not play for Real Madrid. Ronaldo Padavona is better know as Ronnie James Dio. Where the name Dio came from is open to speculation, but he became one of the most admired and respected vocalists in rock music. I could have written a ‘How I Discovered’ post on Ronnie Dio, except how … More MetalMonth – Ronnie James Dio
Next week I’ll write about Mad Men, but today, as it’s Sunday. . . . I’m not sure which female singer first caught my attention. Back in the late neolithic period I can remember Suzi Quatro appearing on Top of the Pops singing Can the Can and being christened Tin Tin Suzi by my sister. … More MetalMonth – Wild Wimmin