That sounds a bit apocalyptic, but I’m referring to the book sales. I have a plan that involves withdrawing all the ebooks from sales channels, offering them for free from the website and making money from other product lines. Does this sound like a plan? Advertisements
Some of you may not know this, but March 21st 2017 is a very important date.
I’m going to sound like an egomaniac by explaining another bout of absence, not just here but in other places on the web. I always think it sounds a bit weird when an unknown blogger apologises for not blogging, as if the internet has been holding its breath, but I can see where these people … More On the road.
I’d love to say something like ‘ten years in the making…’ (and say it in a very deep voice) but it’s not taking that long.
Not a cover reveal. . . . Release date is looking like 2017 now.
Following the arson attack in Managua during the central American leg of Toten Herzen’s Malandanti world tour (unofficially retitled the Let the Insurance Cover It tour) Alien Noise brought in brand management consultant Theo Rand of New York firm Solid Gold to advise on damage limitation. Alien Noise, in an uncharacteristic act of altruism, invited … More Marketing And Creating That Killer Brand By New York-Based Consultant Theo Rand
What’s in a name? Where do characters come from? Sometimes, the questions authors are asked are difficult to answer: ‘where did you get the idea from?’ is the perennial lump hammer of a question; virtually unanswerable. But occasionally a question can be answered, and today I’ll tell you how I created Belarussian rock band There … More There Will Be Blood
I promised to give y’all a sneak Halloween preview and I think this little episode sums up the dark and light and frivolity of The One Rule of Magic. The novel is out now, a Halloween release, and expect to see a couple of reviews in the future from a couple of stout yeomen who … More Extract From The One Rule of Magic
You may remember I said something about a newsletter, collecting emails and all that dodgy sounding nonsense. Well, who wants a poxy newsletter, all black and white with Arial font and wingdings and clip art, when you can have a f*** off full colour magazine. Yes, magazine. Content for the first issue is pretty much … More Coming Soon. (No, honestly, it is…)
I’ve done this twice before and on both occasions been overwhelmed by the lack of response. All authors need help, a word in the internet’s ear and I don’t like taking without giving. In the past I have laid down a few rules, the intention being to give authors who write ‘outside the box’ a … More Yet Another Author Invite
The keen eyed among you may have noticed a certain erratic quality to this blog. It ebbs and flows like a confused tide, sometimes engulfing the land with a quick succession of articles; sometimes it goes all Southport and retreats to the sea, leaving people wondering if they’ll ever see anything again. I’m writing this … More Nothing
You wait ages for a grown-up novel about black magic and two appear at once. Because of logistical issues too complicated to discuss here both Who Among Us… and The One Rule of Magic have been published simultaneously. Who Among Us… is available now, The One Rule of Magic available for pre-order up to it’s … More Hubble Bubble Double Trouble
In a few weeks time I’ll be self-publishing another entry in the TotenUniverse. The One Rule of Magic is the first book in what I call the Reflections strand of novels following the new life of Bamberg witch Frieda Schoenhofer. Frieda was first encountered in Who Among Us… (still doing the rounds with literary agents) … More Blurb request – The One Rule of Magic
No one knows the true barycentre of the TotenUniverse. The band are only part of a wider growing European conspiracy. You can now explore further details of this conspiracy and Alien Noise Corporation’s future plans and releases. Click the image to see the TotenUniverse in detail. As universes go the image is quite large, and … More The TotenUniverse
In the third Toten Herzen story Raven has lost her mate, Rob Wallet, and suffered a second setback when Susan Bekker does the dirty on her promise to turn Raven into a vampire. After a brief meeting with an Interpol investigator Raven lets off steam in a phone call to a friend back in Britain. … More There Will Be Blood – Extracts: Raven’s Dilemma
A 1st draft abridged extract from the third Toten Herzen novel There Will Be Blood v.2 (The novel will be published at the end of Toten Herzen’s Malandanti world tour, some time in 2016.) The band take a fateful decision… For as long as Wallet had been with the band, he thought he had an … More There Will Be Blood – Extracts: Bad News for Rob Wallet
A 1st draft abridged extract from the third Toten Herzen novel There Will Be Blood v.2 (The novel will be published at the end of Toten Herzen’s Malandanti world tour, some time in 2016.) Every time the main lights strafed the crowd Dee found a single member of the audience to focus on. In … More TOUR NEWS: TOTEN HERZEN – BRAZIL
I feel terrible. I feel as if I have instigated a great wrong. When I wrote Toten Herzen Malandanti and Who Among Us… I portrayed witches and Satanists as violent criminals, hell bent on selfish pursuits and ‘removing’ anyone who got in their way. But the thing is, they’re not really like that. My excuse … More Apologies To Witches And Satanists
It’s summer, the female solo artists are coming into bud and causing the usual huffing and puffing as they struggle to maintain their relevence. I thought it an appropriate time to unleash an extract from Toten Herzen Malandanti featuring their litigious US nemesis Rose Pursey. In Malandanti, Pursey is suing Dee Vancent for libel and … More Toten Herzen Malandanti Extract – Rose Pursey
This content has been removed by WordPress following a request by advertisers to prevent content describing the Malandanti. For more information plese contact the owner of this blog.
I’ll open a call centre. Let’s face it, part of being a successful author is maintaining a relationship with your fans and if you have so many fans a simple newsletter just won’t do. Contingency plans to cope with overwhelming success are necessary and the Alien Noise Corporation customer service will be second to none. … More If I Become A Wealthy Author…
Now I’ve got a real treat for you this time. A writer who, if she started name dropping, would put Michael Parkinson to shame. In fact, to put me in the mood I’m gonna type up this interview whilst listening to Children of Bodom’s Hate Crew Deathroll. . . . Say hello to Hilary Mortz, … More Guest Author – Hilary Mortz
unless you’re looking for an explanation…
Who were (are) the Malandanti? I came across them when I was researching witchcraft for the second Toten Herzen novel. To understand the Malandanti you must first learn about the Benandanti. Benandanti means ‘good walkers’ (Benandante is the singular) and were a group of people from the Friuli region of northeastern Italy in the 16th … More Origins of the Malandanti – update
Three images produced to illustrate the three principle players in the novel Who Among Us. . . Software is Photoshop and if there was time I’d post a tutorial, but I haven’t got time so unfortunately I won’t! Frieda Schoenhofer “. . . . I didn’t do this.” “Well who did?” “Someone above the law.” … More Who Among Us. . . illustrations
Official statement from Alien Noise Corporation. Rotterdam, March 9th Toten Herzen will not be performing at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest to be held in Austria. Reports that the band would be representing Azerbaijan are incorrect and malicious. Susan Bekker, speaking from Sao Paulo where the band are on world tour, described the rumours as … More Toten Herzen at Eurovision?
A new regular feature in which Toten Herzen’s number one fangirl Raven (real name [REDACTED]) mouths off about everything and anything. I hate my life. It was supposed to be exciting. I followed Toten Herzen across Rotterdam at three in the morning and it came to this. Boredom. Terminal boredom. And then Rob Wallet comes … More Raven Rants – boring books
Allegedly based on real events, Who Among Us. . . is the first part of the story behind the collapse and aftermath of a 400 year old network of covens operating in Europe since their origins in Wurzburg and Bamberg in the 1600s – Disowned by her family and deranged by anger, Jennifer Enzo views … More Who Among Us…
The final book of the Totenseries and all answers provided to explain Rob Wallet’s Toten phenomenon. Finally, the answers to the mystery, for many the greatest hoax of the 21st century, revealed. Rob Wallet’s identity; Susan Bekker’s Big Lie; what really happened to Peter Miles; the fate of Raven; the significance of Elaine Daley’s tattoo … More The Book Of Revelation