If you remember my blog post from last year describing my travel phobia you’re probably thinking did he do it? Did he break the hoodoo?


This might be one of the more personal blog posts I’ve written, so don’t be surprised if I delete it! I have a small confession to make.

I hate formatting

All self-published authors will know that a finished manuscript can’t be published until it’s been formatted. Simple, says the layperson, it’s the 21st Century. What could possibly go wrong?

What’s In A Name?

Storm Brian battered Britain this weekend. I didn’t think Brian’s were capable of such fury, but it proves the Met Office are trying to con us into thinking that deadly storms are our benevolent friends.

Where to begin?

What do you do when you’re flush with money from the sale of four ebooks (total royalties earned £5.12) and you’ve just finished the sixth novel of the TotenUniverse? You write a blog post.

Am I The Only One Who Thinks The Zombie Joke Is Funny?

One thing I don’t like is reading jokes. Gags on paper are never funny for me. Comedy literature is different, but reading ‘this fella went into a bar…’ never raises a smile. But I’m going to ignore my own rule with this post because there’s no other way of telling you the zombie joke. And … More Am I The Only One Who Thinks The Zombie Joke Is Funny?

Who On Earth Thought Insects Were a Good Idea?

They nip, bite, sting, burrow into the flesh, occupy our intestines and eat eyeballs. They spread diseases and those that don’t spread diseases carry the bacteria and viruses that do spread diseases. In short, they are an unecessary evolutionary sick joke. They weren’t created by a Creator, they were created by the Creator’s morbid teenage … More Who On Earth Thought Insects Were a Good Idea?


Airfix isn’t the only company that makes construction kits, but like Hoover and Biro, the name means the same thing. Before robots took over the world Airfix kits were the go-to hobby for millions of kids. You could build anything with an Airfix kit (although a lot of the stuff I’ll describe in this post … More Airfix

Subjects to Avoid

When writing a blog you need a constant source of ideas and subjects to discuss, and at the moment I’m bone dry when it comes to things to cover. But the irony is I have a list of things I don’t want to write about. The reasons range from being beheaded to being insulted and … More Subjects to Avoid


There was a time when I was a Kindlecrite (Kindle Hypocrite). Criticising Amazon’s e-book reading system whilst selling my books on the platform. In the end, moral pressure became too much and I pulled my books off Amazon. If I relied on the income I’d be a dead man by now. Tail between the legs … More Kindlecrites

Do You Dream?

And by that I mean night time dreams, not ambitions. Dreams are one of the most disturbing and fascinating aspects of consciousness and awareness, and I might go so far as to say they are a form of alternative existence. What do I mean by that? Let me tell you a story. When I was … More Do You Dream?


The keen eyed among you may have noticed a certain erratic quality to this blog. It ebbs and flows like a confused tide, sometimes engulfing the land with a quick succession of articles; sometimes it goes all Southport and retreats to the sea, leaving people wondering if they’ll ever see anything again. I’m writing this … More Nothing

Query letter sample

I don’t normally do this, get all self-indulgent with post after post about my work, but I had an idea today which I really need to pass by someone. I’m sitting in a cafe wracking my brains to come up with a query letter to literary agents and can’t get beyond the boring standard method … More Query letter sample