Mad Ramblings

I’m too disorganised to write about one thing so I’m going to ramble instead.

I noticed that Goodreads will no longer run free giveaways. Authors, from 2018, will be charged money to give away things. And thus the mug’s game continues. This is a massive disappointment to me because I had worked out how to become a millionaire author using Goodreads Giveways. (A sure fire process that I’ll reveal to you in return for ¬£500 – or approx. $1378) But I’m not paying $200-$600 to give something away, even if it will make me a millionaire.

The Goodreads plan was one of a number of blog post ideas I had jotted down in my big black notebook. Other ideas included a fake WikiHow article on how to become a supervillain:

  1. To become a villain you have to do something illegal. To become a supervillain you have to do something very illegal.
  2. Plan what it is you want to do and check to see if it’s illegal or not

Etc etc. Problem is I don’t think I can match WikiHow’s ability to condense complex issues like becoming President of the EU into seven illustrated steps.

I wanted to write up the findings of a UK literary agents survey that revealed 84% of UK authors went to the same public school as their agent. However, the Guardian newspaper already has an article on the lack of diversity in UK literature which is still predominantly white and middle class. I’m sure the Guardian can argue the case much better than me, albeit with more spelling mistakes.

A blog post on author success reminded me of a man I once knew who ran a second hand record stall in Blackpool. He often had people come up to him and say ‘Oh, you’ve got such-an-album by SoAndSo. I’ve been looking for this for years.’ When he told them the price they’d clear off. He concluded that some people prefer the search than the discovery, and the blog post I had planned was how so many authors continue to follow and heed bad advice as if they’re not actually interested in succeeding.

Running down the list. . . . ‘Who Is Helene Fischer?’ Done that one. ‘I need clothes,’ haven’t done that one. (I need clothes by the way. So much so that I’m planning to design my own!) ‘Things I’ve misplaced.’ Can’t remember if I’ve written that one. ‘Are you Toten Herzen.’ What does this say, ‘pub duffers need not apply.’

It’s all a bit cryptic. Webpage or newsletter. Yes. The clever money says make your first book free, add a link to a newsletter sign up and offer people a second free book once you’ve got their email address.

Done that, doesn’t work. Save your time and energy. Author Cats, a new website for authors that takes away the complication of web site building, coding and all that. Sounds great, but I think you still have to install WordPress on a self-hosted server which involves web site building, coding and all that. I might be wrong. I have been wrong before.

Oh, here’s another blog post idea. Produce your own film. Based on the book you’ve written choose the actors, the theme tune blah blah blah. You already know who I’d choose and it would probably be a predominantly German production.

Is William Carter really a hero? His obituaries say he was, but what do you think?

So many ideas, so little time. So disorganised. I had a thought this morning. If I had an office of my own instead of working for someone else I might have the time to do all this. They keep putting the retirement age up in Britain, so I’ll be about 103 by the time I’m one of those bored old men with too much time on his hands.

How do people do it? How do people work full time and still do other things like mow the grass and wash the car. If any of you know, write an instructive blog post about it, or better still one of those fancy infographics, or BETTER THAN THAT. . . .

A WikiHow article. How to organise yourself.

1 Make a list of all the things you want to do in the day. Include making this list on your list. . . .

10 thoughts on “Mad Ramblings

  1. All of these posts are excellent, Chris. I think you know that I’m also a big fan of writing about what you haven’t written about. There’s at least 10 posts in that alone. I look forward to 10,000 word expansions on all of the above.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You could do something illegal and then write about it (and other things) in jail. There’s a fellow here in British Columbia who did that. As for lists, I find them helpful. Sometimes making the list gives you enough of a feeling of accomplishment you don’t have to do any of the things on the list. As for getting organized, you can let things go to the point it becomes obvious which one needs to be dealt with first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve wondered sometimes if being sent to prison would be good publicity for the books. (Didn’t do Jeffrey Archer any harm.) I used to be a weekly list maker and I’ve tried to be disciplined about it at work, but then some lists end up being so long they become a tremendous demotivator. And you’re right about leaving things; I will eventually wash the car when the rust causes one of the doors to fall off.

      Liked by 1 person

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