Hooray: I got some more spam.

Four comments waiting in my shit filter inbox on WordPress, and being the lonely sort I was so over the moon I had to share it with you all.

Number 1 – from the lovely jolly japesters at FormSEO (yes the ones with testimonials from a man who doesn’t exist and a mad woman.)

I came across your There Will Be Blood – The Opening Sentence website and wanted to let you know that we have decided to open our POWERFUL and PRIVATE web traffic system to the public for a limited time! You can sign up for our targeted traffic network with a free trial as we make this offer available again. If you need targeted traffic that is interested in your subject matter or products start your free trial today:

So impressed they’ve gone all public spirited. Well FormSEO, there’s another way you can do the public a favour: go and leap off a very tall building.

Number 2 – from a doctor

I won’t cut and paste the text because it contains bodily references which some religious people might find offensive. However I can say the doctor has a wonderful grasp of Latin.

Number 3 – is from someone with more names than a Brazilian footballer

I see your website needs some fresh & unique content. (Cheeky bastard)
Writing manually is time consuming, but there is solution for this hard task.
Just search for: (Redacted) tools rewriter

No I won’t because you’re the tool and you’ve missed an ‘a’ before the word solution.

Number 4 – is from someone who either wears mittens when he types on his iPhone or English isn’t his first, second or third language.

Everyon loves iit whn people come togethesr annd sharre opinions.
Great site, kerp itt up! I could noot rresist commenting.
Perfectpy written! I aam sur this articl hass touche all the internet users, itts realply reeally fastidious
piecee oof writing on buildinng up new blog.

On second thoughts, it might be Officer Crabtree out of Allo Allo. Perfectpy written, eh? Unlike the semi-literate cack you churn out.

One day I’m going to compile all this advice into a single book and sell it to potential self-published authors along with a fake $100 voucher for Bookbub.

4 thoughts on “Hooray: I got some more spam.

  1. Loved your #4! Mittens indeed! After reading this, I checked my spam bucket and found this: “We positively recommend clicking on varied porn categories and watching porn with most charming plots, together with sex parties, orgies and seaside intercourse.”
    It does have a distinctive style!

    Liked by 1 person

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