There was a time when I was a Kindlecrite (Kindle Hypocrite). Criticising Amazon’s e-book reading system whilst selling my books on the platform. In the end, moral pressure became too much and I pulled my books off Amazon. If I relied on the income I’d be a dead man by now.

Tail between the legs I whimpered back to Amazon and started all over again. For all its trillions, Apple don’t hold a candle in terms of ebook sales, Barnes & Noble pathetic minnows, and Smashwords, bless ’em. They try. But over the past year I’ve noticed a curious phenomenon in the world of indie-publishing bloggers.

One week I’ll read an article about how Amazon is the Bashar al-Assad of the book publishing world, ruthlessly killing off all opposition. Kindle Unlimited, Amazon Prime, all these devious business models that will ultimately lead to Armageddon and the end of publishing as we know it.

Then, the following week, the same bloggers will be calling out to authors everywhere, explaining why Kindle is the only game in town. Don’t waste your time formatting an ebook for anyone else; you might as well go out and hang yourself. Not worth it, waste of time (the fact that they’ve spent a year writing a novel, but can’t find thirty minutes formatting it for another publishing system sails over their head).

The fact is, Amazon are unavoidable – the irony is, I made more money last year through Apple and B&N than Amazon, but I suspect it was the same person who had some kind of C Harrison season. Yes, Amazon are unavoidable tax avoiding slave drivers with an insatiable business model. But they’re a necessary evil.

If that bothers you, go and cry into your soup, or better still adopt a position and stick to it. If you hate Amazon say so and avoid them. If you can’t do without Amazon say so and stop criticising them, but one way or the other stop being a Kindlecrite. Flip flopping like a suffocating mackerel makes you look like an idiot.

PS We Are Toten Herzen and all my other utterly brilliant books are available from Amazon and all good online bookstores, and probably from some really crappy ones as well.

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14 thoughts on “Kindlecrites

  1. The laws of physics also apply to book sales, from what I can see. For every sale there is an equal and opposite obstacle. When you consider all the marketing variables which go into indie publishing, the sales platform seems to be the most immediate and blameable pain in the arse. I have a Kindle, and I prefer to buy on Amazon, so it’s all I know, but I’m guessing that eschewing any one of the major platforms will result in lost sales.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As they’re all free to use I don’t see why the other platforms shouldn’t be tried out, especially one as ubiquitous as the Smashwords distribution system; I’m sure one day they’ll distribute to the International Space Station. (Still won’t get any sales though.)

      Selling books is a lot of things. We risk running out of euphemisms. As soon as a new opportunity opens up it is deluged with people who have figured out how to game it. (The absurd exploitation of titles and keywords on Amazon hasn’t been resolved to my knowledge. My next book published there will have a title consisting entirely of several thousand auto-generated keywords.)

      If Newton’s Third Law of Book Sales is correct I can expect a lot of hassle to come, but so far, based on what you say, I think I could easily identify eighteen obstacles…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, at least 18. What a lot you have to look forward to! You lucky thing. Of course, as soon as you identify the obstacles, they will have become someone else’s opportunity, and in turn immediately debunked by someone else. Etcetera…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. All my books stay just with Amazon on the Kindle Unlimited programme, which seems to work if I spend some time promoting the books as well. This morning my humorous novella ‘The Pilates Class’ is #775 in the Kindle Free Store on, so I can’t complain. By the end of the week I’m hoping to make #1, but we shall see…..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nothing wrong with the odd moan now and again, Jack, but it’s those people offering ‘advice,’ telling us one week to ditch Amazon and then the week after to stay with them. They should make up their minds.

      Amazon is still the easiest access route to the market and they might get even better if they had a bit more competition. Other companies seem to shoot themselves in the foot by making it difficult for authors to submit their work. (Smashwords excepted.)

      Liked by 1 person

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